I’ve struggle with my weight for quite some time now and ever since I was a teenager aged 14, I had issues with the way I looked and just wanted to do something about it. At that age I didn’t know what was the problem, but I also didn’t stop to think about it much, I mean who really does at that age!
The trouble is, the problem never really went away and it was only until recently that I started to think about it more deeply that I had realised the long term problems. This happened as a result of keeping a health diary where I would postulate to myself about my weight issues.
Now I’m not by any means a giant person or fatally obese. I’m just about 5kg above what I’d like to be, but that 5kg turns me from looking healthy and trim to looking just slightly portly.
It’s my own issue ok! We all have different ways of percieving ourselves, but I’m sure like me, you’ve had one or 2 of your own, whether that is too fat or too thin.
The real revelation is that by chatting to myself on the video diary, I found myself joining the dots of my life even more, to really understand what was going on.
Throughout my life I’ve been fairly active. I did a fair bit of sports at school until I left for university where I took up karate and trained 4 times a week. I even ended up on the university karate team and achieved my black belt. After I left university I was back in London working and I started to let myself go a little.
It was that, plus I found it hard to find people to play tennis or squash with. Eventually after a few years, I joined the gym and did find a squash partner for a while. I also took up a new martial art called Capoeira and then began training in that quite heavily. Again 4 times a week and got really quiet good at it.
Throughout all this time, I never really got to a stage where people would look at me and see me as “fit”. Even when I was training 4 times a week and really going at it.
This really bugged the hell out of me and eventually I lost interest in Capoeria, since in this particular choice I made, I did it with a thought of wanting to lose weight and get fit.
Nothing really happened after that and I had about a few years of doing nothing at all. This eventually lead into doing Salsa dancing, which I then took up to the extreme again and went to classes 4 times a week. I did this for 5 years and got really good at it. Still though, not looking fit!
Throughout this time by keeping a health diary, I knew that the problem wasn’t with the types of food I was eating. Through good upbringing, I almost made every meal from raw ingredients, even sauces and pastes and soups. Hardly anything I ate came from tins, cans, or packets.
Perhaps it has something to do with portion sizes, so I even cut down on that for a period.
Eventually I got myself a personal trainer in 2010 and worked out with Lazo Freeman, one of Londons most expensive and top body change experts, and we trained 4 times a week for 18 months. I followed all the rules, took all the muscle building supplements and just played his type of game for a while, yet I still didn’t get the results.
It was deeply frustrating, and I’m still struggling today. I ended with Lazo and moved on, and now I am doing something called DDP Yoga which in it’s simplicity really is quite effective. I’m hoping that this time round I’ll get fitter.
Here’s other things I’ve also tried out to understand my own body:
None of these had any real effect on my weight.
I’ll carry on testing, trialing and never giving up, just like Arthur in the video below:
What has been helpful though is having a means to record all these thoughts so that I can keep coming back to them and reflecting on what I’ve tried and how it keeps me motivated to try again.